The second signal is the color you wear, which specifies the scene or sex act you are seeking. Therefore, when “reading” the backside of a hanky-wearing man, if he’s wearing it on the side that “comes first,” he identifies as top/dominant, and if it’s on the side that “comes second,” he’s bottom/submissive. Similarly, the top/dominant role is primary, with the bottom/submissive being secondary.
#Gay flag color meaning bdsm code#
Originating in the early 1970’s in either New York or San Francisco (let’s not even try to settle that debate), the hanky code is a system of signaling sexual preferences, fetishes, and roles by choosing to wear a specifically colored bandana on a particular side of the body.
Quite often in “Grindr” chat, this is shortened to be simply “into?” - just like ships used cyphers (flags) to communicate, we gay men have our own way to communicate sexual preferences and proclivities. When two men are negotiating a sexual encounter or even compatibility to date, the phrase “What are you into?” will inevitably come from one or both.
(Editor’s Note: With the new “mask when going out” regulations for Greater Palm Springs, we thought it was time to revisit the Hanky Code and consider applying it to wearing one on your face!)